I was having lunch with a friend yesterday and we were discussing everything under the sun! As we shared about the goings on in our lives, I realized how important it is to be with people who understand you and genuinely care about you. The recharge from a conversation with someone who truly cares about you, is amazing. You feel filled up when you leave a visit with someone who genuinely cares about you, as opposed to feeling drained, defeated and “not enough”, when you spend time with those who don’t really care for you, or are just doing it out of obligation.
I have been going through the process for over a year now of being around people I love, who love and respect me, those who genuinely care-and not spending time with those who don’t really care about me or only care superficially. It’s a process and there’s backlash. It is soooooo worth it. At least for me it is!!
We are all different. We process differently, we love differently, we share, communicate, argue, and praise differently. I am a feeler. I’m emotional, kind, loving, empathetic, sympathetic. I am passionate. I cry. I hug. Therefore, I have to protect my heart. Yes, I know it sounds like an oxymoron.
This is when it all fell together for me at lunch yesterday. I was discussing a rather trying situation going on in my family. We have some long time family friends that have, over recent years, really shown their true colors. Even after ignoring some of the fundamental differences between us for years, these recent actions have sealed my fate. I cannot in good conscious be around them. Yesterday my friend said it so eloquently that I cannot believe I didn’t put these words to it myself. You can’t expose your heart to that. It is too risky, too damaging.
It goes beyond right and wrong. It is also about self preservation. You don’t have to compromise yourself to make others feel better. Especially people who don’t genuinely care about you.
People who genuinely care about you do things that are important to you. They help you along your journey, they want you to succeed. Sometimes they even make sacrifices for you. When you spend time with them, your well is filled up.
Find your people. Surround yourself with people who fill your heart with love and confidence after you spend time with them. It’s okay to protect your heart from damage as well. We cannot change people, but we can change the people we are around. Choose wisely who you invest your time in. Invest your time for the right reasons-not because you feel obligated either. Trust me-having a full well is a much better way to live!